The Guide [Part-5]

The Guide
[Part-5]

~"The marks humans leave are too often scars. (John Green)"~

____________________________________

It was my 20th birthday. I didn't feel like celebrating it one bit. Celebrations are done when you have people to share your happiness with. Well, I had them but not as the way I wanted them to be. The relations weren't the same now. I didn't want people to wish me, if they could, i would want them to get my happiness back for me. But this was too much to wish for.

Athira wished me at 12. So did Viyaan. I faked some excitement for their sake. Somehow, even they understood my pain. I wanted to be alone. My birthday which was once the best day of my life now held no significance for me. Mom called and so did Dad. They were telling me about some gifts they were sending but how could I tell them that all I wanted was to see them together, again. But I held in my emotions. They didn't want it, they're happy this way. They don't want us to be a family. Then who am I to say anything?
I held back my tears with great difficulty. It was just a normal day, cursing life and wanting my old life back. That spark inside me had died.

It was around 4 when Athira told me to get ready. She said she had some plans. I denied but she didn't take no for an answer. Reluctantly, I got up and got dressed. Every bit of me was against it but still for her sake, I was doing it. We took a taxi and she gave me a gift. It was a dress and a small copy of Bhagvad Gita, to stay strong. I smiled and hugged her. She told the taxi to take us to Viyaan's apartment. My whatsapp, inbox and Facebook was showing notifications of people wishing me but here I was ,sitting like a lifeless soul with silent screams.

Viyaan was waiting outside. He hugged me tight and whispered, "My baby is looking beautiful." And all of a sudden he blindfolded me and held my hand. I took baby steps along with him, being careful not to fall down. But I knew he was there to hold me, at least. I couldn't see anything, it was pitch black like the darkness prevailing in my life.

He opened the blindfold and I saw his apartment. It was beautifully decorated. Balloons were all over the place. But I didn't need that superficial happiness. There was my favorite Choco Truffle Cake on the center table. The walls were decorated with my pictures. Soft music was being played. Had I been my old self, I would have literally shouted on the top of my voice.
Viyaan took me near the cake and said, "Cut it baby." I held the knife and all of a sudden the emotions inside me took a tool over me. I threw the cake away and pushed the table. It lay upside down. I took a balloon in my hand and popped it. I feel down on the ground on my knees and started crying and screaming. Two blank faces had their eyes on me. But I wasn't in my senses. I didn't care. How can they expect me to be happy about it? I tried to be, but I failed miserably. Nobody knew the grave pain that had been set back in my heart.

I dug my face into my palms and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'm not ready for anything. I am sorry, really. I spoil everything. I spoilt it too. I'm sorry."

I didn't need condolences and sympathies at that time, even support wouldn't have helped me. All I wanted was, isolation. All I wanted was to tie again, the broken threads. All I wanted was a miracle to happen, but i forgot life wasn't a fairytale.

____________________________________