*A Kiss Under The Mistletoe*

Kabir and Avantika had been together for three years. But then Kabir had to shift to some other city, far away due to some family reasons. And things changed. They couldn't bear the distance. There came a point when they were done hurting each other and drifted apart. The decision was difficult, but there was no other option left.

It was almost an year they were away. With every passing day they regretted their mistakes and wanted to get back, but their ego didn't let them take the first step.

There was just a week left for Christmas. He was thinking about his Avi, how much she used to love and enjoy this festival. A tear trickled down his cheek. He remembered how she decorated her Christmas tree, got gifts for some poor kids, made cake and in the evening she used to go to the church and she wished to be kissed under the Mistletoe.

The next thing he knew was he took a train ticket to Delhi. He was currently in Surat. Throughout the journey he realized how stupid he had been to let her go on such irrelevant issues. He loved her unconditionally and had seen a future with her, and he had been a jerk all this while. Rather than holding on to her, he pushed her away. He didn't realize when he reached Delhi after a day, he was so lost in her thoughts. He was busy gazing at her picture which was still the wallpaper of his phone.

And he went to the church, he knew she'd be there. And he saw her from a distance, his heart broke a little seeing her after so long. How could he let this angel of his slip away.
She had closed her eyes and she was praying to God. Maybe this year too she was wishing for a kiss under the mistletoe. She had grown more beautiful. He fell in love with her all over again. And he went and sat next to her and held her hand.

She opened her eyes. She got exactly what she wished for. He was back. Both of them had tears in their eyes. They couldn't say anything, they were speechless. She got up without leaving his hand. She went near the big Christmas tree and he followed her.
She took out some decorations she had made and started putting them on the tree. He kept looking at her. As she was done, he took her in his arms and hugged her tight. She buried her face in his chest. Tears were trickling down her cheeks.
And he cupped her face in his hands, placed her flicks at the back of her ears, she closed her eyes.
And he kissed her on her forehead.
And said, "I'm sorry. Merry Christmas. Here is your wish, your kiss under the Mistletoe. I love you. I am sorry, I am so sorry."

And she smiled in her tears.
She hugged him tight and said, "I love you Kabir. You are my wish under the Mistletoe. And I won't let you go now."

And he knew he loved her more than anything and would hold onto her till the end. 
And that very year they realised what they had, on this merry day of Christmas! 

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-19]

~"Either you have feelings which stay forever, or they were never true. True feelings are never fade away, even if they are murdered."~

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Back home, everyone was happy to see me. Everyone was busy preparing for Di's engagement. I was so happy for her. She was being married to Rohan Malik. Rohan has been our family friend since a long time. He was a gentleman. Di and him were good friends since quite a long time. I was happy to know that Di was gonna start a new life, and Rohan would surely keep her happy.

I couldnt see the one my eyes were searching for.
No matter what happens, she would always be the love of my life. Things happened, circumstances changed. I know she loves me, she was hiding it well. Little did she know I could read it all in her eyes.
I was dying to see her.
She was improving, she was coming out of the hell she was dragged into by the wrong person. My love was a strong girl, I know that. But right now, all I wished to God was to get her back.
I had spent a good amount of time without her, I wasn't ready for more. The voice of my heart was calling for her.
Separation from her didn't hurt that much, what was hurting me more was that she loves me and still isn't mine. She was making a sacrifice which was really not required.

The next evening, it was Di's engagement and being her brother I had many responsibilities. I was busy completing the work mom had told me too. But my thoughts were focused just on her. I know she wasn't ready to see me, but before going back I had to see her and talk her once.

And she was there, Standing in the kitchen, listening to something Dadi was telling her. She had become weak, and it seems as if she hadn't smiled since a long time. She was faking it. It was hurting me more than her.

It was as if I was frozen, right there. And she saw me. I swear that look always took my breath away. She defined perfection.
And she smiled.
Finally.
I saw that angelic smile of her and stepped towards her.

"I have work to do Aryan. Hope you are doing good.", she said this and walked away.
I Followed her and held her hand.
"Stop running from me Saanvi. It's of no use. Even you know I'm not going anywhere. We really need to talk. Please Saanvi. Running from each other isn't a solution.", I said.

She didn't face me. Tears were trickling down her cheeks. I went ahead and wiped them off.

"Dont cry Saanvi. It's not your fault. Stop punishing yourself. Please. And listen, tomorrow after the ceremony, you are meeting me, our place. And don't say no. Trust me it would be nothing related to that. We are out of it. It's just some things we both need to tell each other and talk about. I promise.", I said.

And she smiled through those tears and nodded her head in approval.
It made me smile too.

"Let me go now Aryan. We both have a lot of work to do.", she requested.

I left hold of her hand. I didn't want to let her go. And she walked away.
I wish I could tell her to walk again into my life, but as I have promised, I can't.
I just wanted to talk to her once and know what she wanted.
Her happiness was my priority. I had to bring that angelic smile back, and that too without the tears. 

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-18]

~"Sometimes sacrifices show you how much you are in love with that person and how far can you go for them."~

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And she opened her eyes. I was so excited and nervous to see her, both at the same time. I wanted to see her as soon as possible and I wanted to make her mine as soon as possible. I asked the nurse if I could see her. I was allowed to go and see her.
Her eyes were closed. She was looking paler. I wished to have her back. I wad praying for that constantly.

And she opened her eyes. I had kept my hand on her hand. She didn't oppose it, so I felt a bit relieved. She had tears in her eyes which were red. Her face was reflecting it all, she was in pain, pain of regret. She was looking towards the wall and held my hand tightly. It was as if she wanted to say something but couldn't. I could see it all.

I gave her, her medicines and water. Without saying anything, she had them. She wasn't saying a single word, I wanted to know what was going on inside her, I couldn't let the ocean of pain and grief submerge her any further. So I broke the silence. I took out everything inside me that happened last night.

Tears started flowing out of her eyes. And she hugged me tight. It was one of those hugs which indicated the reunion of two lost souls. She was sorry. I didn't want to make her feel guilty conscious, so I said nothing. I hugged her more tightly.

After some moment of silence, she broke it by saying something which was something totally unexpected.
She said, "Aryan, I now realize what true love is. And I did something so wrong with you. And here you are, still there for me, I mean, how, why? Shouldn't you be hating me. I know you want us to be together, but it cannot happen Aryan. I have hurt you enough and I cannot, anymore. I am around you, but I can't be with you. I just can't hurt you anymore. I feel ashamed of myself. How can be like this?
But I'll improve now. You would see. I would be a better person and would try repenting the sins I've done and would settle everything with you. Please forgive me, once."
She had tears in her eyes.
I couldn't say anything.
I just hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.
I smiled and left her room.

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A phone call brought me back from my past. It was Di. She was the best. She knew when I needed her and she would be there always.
She wanted me to get back home soon.
Shit!
How could I forget?
Di was getting engaged in another two weeks. I always used to tell her that she was lucky to never fall in love, and now she was getting married according to family's wishes. And she would often laugh this talk away.

I had to go back home. The place I feared going back to the most. The place that made me who I am. The very same place that haunts me and makes me want to run away.
But that place was my home. No matter what happens, it was my solace. I had to go back.

I booked the tickets for the flight back, and i was ready, broken, shattered, but all ready to go back home.

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-17]

~"We can even turn our world upside down, just to save the one we love. Just to see them happy, we can go through a thousand rough seas."~

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I heard whatever that sick bastard had planned. My temperature was rising but i somehow controlled myself and started to act along his plan. I waited for his day, his birthday, the day he had planned to exploit my girl. How innocent was Saanvi, that she fell for this jerk's trap. But thank god, i got to know about it, and i would save her now.
I breathed a sigh of relief.

And on that day, i saw her going out. Wearing a black dress, straight hair, big heels, she was looking flawless. She had no idea about it. That jerk came to pick her up. And i started to follow them.

He took her to some club, i saw them having a nice time. Even thinking about those words which he used for her, "That she has a perfect body and he would love to explore it", sent shivers down my spine.
How dare this guy say this? And that too about Saanvi! First he made a fool out of her and now he wanted to have fun, let me show you mister, who i am! You don't know who Saanvi's best friend Aryan is. you messed up with the wrong guy.

And he went to the other side, ordered some drinks, and i saw him taking something out from his pocket, it was some sort of packet and he mixed it into one of the drinks, and handed it over to her.
Bloody bastard!

And she drank it. I had to do something, really fast. And that bloody idiot was touching her, and i saw him taking to another side of the club, the kind of side with had small spaces, with red doors. I carefully followed them, so that he didn't get any idea that i was following them. And he closed one of those red doors at the left side, i mustered up all my courage and pushed hard the door and opened it. I saw that bloody jerk trying to touch her, and she was not in a state to refuse. He was quite shocked to see me.

I punched him hard, and he started to abuse me, and held me from my shirt. This was now turning into a bloody bad brawl, but i could do anything for her. And i punched him hard, the anger inside me, it was burning up. The words he said were ringing up inside my head, and were igniting my anger. And i punched him hard, and he fell at one side, with blood gushing out from his nose and mouth.
I picked up my girl, and took care of the club bouncers and security by talking to the manager. thanks to my dad, i managed it all with a clean swipe.
I didn't care if that bloddy sick person files a case against me or whatever, what he did was way too wrong.

He mixed some sort of drug in her drink because of which she was unconscious. I took her to the hospital.

And in the morning, i waited for her to wake up. 

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-16]

~"Break up is not the ugliest part of any relationship, what hurts more than it is the moving on part, living on those memories. Life changes, and you just cannot accept it so easily."~

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With time i got used to it. Her face used to come up in her mind suddenly, and it used to haunt me. But then knowing she was happy with a guy, she was actually happy, it somewhat brought ease to my heart.

I was doing fine too. College and work kept me busy. By choice, i became a workaholic. And my dad, he was really happy to see me like this. He used to say that he was sure I'm gonna make him proud one day, and i knew that it what i have to do, stand unto his expectations.

I had some vacations, so i was back in Mumbai. I did meet her, and she came to talk to me too, but this time it was me, who ignored her. It did seem to affect her a bit, but she never talked about it to me, neither did i try to bring up the topic. She was happy i could see it, and i didn't want to disturb our peace by all that again. She just tried asking if I'm doing okay or not, and i said i was alright, managing.
Hearing that she just smiled.

After a few days, dad sent me to some corporate meeting. And some of his friends' son and some colleagues of his invited me to a drink afterwards. Being a non-drinker, i was quite reluctant to join, but dad wanted me to go and have a bit of talk to them, and make a few contacts. I did as he said.

With all those people, i was sitting and everyone was having quite a talk. We were in one of those posh bars of the city. I've always avoided such places, i just used to feel out of place, but i accompanied them.
In between the talks, my phone started ringing. It was Di, i excused myself and went outside to attend the call.

While i was coming back inside, near the drinks section, i saw three guys sitting. One of the faces, it seemed to be quite familiar. That was the same face, i saw Saanvi hugging outise her college at that time.
That was her guy, that face was of that person who replaced me. I don't know what happened, i just went and took a seat near him, my instincts were telling me that something was just not right. Those three guys were badly drunk. I heard them talking, because i heard Saanvi's name.

The blood in my veins was fuming. Hearing her name, from someone else, i just couldn't bear it.

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-15]

~"No matter how much they hurt you, no matter how much they break you, ironically they are the only ones who can put you up back together."~

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So the next day I was waiting for her, and for the answers. I have no clue what was with her.
She came downstairs near the hall and was about to exit. I could see all that from those glass windows. She didn't have any clue that I was waiting for her near the garden.
And she stepped outside. No matter what happened, she still managed to capture my heart. I still feel those butterflies when she passes by me.
I could never even thinking of hating her, not even In my craziest dreams.

"Listen Saanvi, we need to talk. It's important. Please don't say no. Just listen to me once.", I was literally begging.

"Please Aryan. Please let me go. I'll get late for college. The next bus would come too late. Please. We aren't in the right circumstances to talk to each other. It's better you leave me and we both continue with our lives peacefully.", she said.

"Let me drop you. We can talk in the way. Please. For old time's sake.", I requested her.

"Okay. Fine.", and she moved towards the car.

She didn't even look towards me, not even once. God knows where is that girl lost,the one I've known since forever.

I asked her. I wanted my answers. And she knew I wouldn't let her go until she let it out.
So she said everything, everything that crushed me more and more, but I listened to her patiently.

"Listen Aryan. You and me are of no match. Look at the standard of your family and then look at me. It's next to impossible. We can't be together, ever. Even if we try I would never be able to adjust with your family standards, I'm not used to those luxuries and that kind of lifestyle. I might have a place in your heart but in your life, it's definately not me who is made for you. We are poles apart. Come out of it Aryan please. Step into reality. Dream world may fetch something to people like you, but for people like me, it's absurd to even dream like that. And to be honest, I have someone else in my life. Someone with whom I can actually dream of a future. Not with someone with whom my future is point blank. That someone, he may not be perfect like you, but atleast I can see my dreams with him. I'm assured of some possibility, which is otherwise zero. And I guess you would understand what I meant.", she said it all.

I didn't know what to react. We reached her college. I saw her moving towards a guy, I guess it was him. He hugged her tight.
Maybe she was right, maybe he would keep her a lot more happy and give her his love.

But what was my fault. Was it that I was rich? I just couldn't accept it. Something was provoking me inside to go and surrender myself to her, but for the sake of her happiness, I had to drift away.

With every passing day, I was getting away from her. But that smile on her face, that somehow assured me that everything is fine on her side. We did talk, as friends. And I was happy to have her with me, maybe by just being friends.

It somehow broke my heart to see her happy with someone else, but seeing her happy, that was all I wanted.
I was going back to Delhi after a month. And before going she hugged me tight and thanked me for understanding her. She thanked me for being with her as her best friend. I was happy for her, but my broken heart, it couldn't just bear it.

To distract myself, I engrossed myself into studies and work. I had to achieve. I had to complete my father's dream. I couldn't just look back anymore.
Time was passing by, I was just going on with my life, I wasn't actually living it.

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-14]

~"Pain is not more when something bad happens with us, it's intensity is much larger when it happens with the one we love, that hurts a lot more."

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It was almost 10 at Night. It was my first day back home and I wanted to see her. It was quite late and I was surprised why she wasn't back home.
I was worried.
I asked Pandey Ji about it, but all he said was that she comes late only these days.

Oh God!
What is up with her? Where was she? I was getting restless. I took her number, the one she had changed, I called her up so many times, but no answer.

And finally around 10, she entered. Something was definately wrong with her. I wanted this bad dream to end soon. But it wasn't just a dream, the harsh reality was hitting me hard. Saanvi came home, drunk. I was shocked. She was drunk.
What the hell was wrong with her?

I saw her from a distance. She was beautiful, still she was, but something from inside was turning that beauty into a devil. She was destroying herself. She was drunk. I can't believe it. This girl, my Saanvi was drunk.

She was stumbling. The alcohol driving in her veins was making her do so. She could barely walk properly. She couldn't walk properly in those high heels, it was difficult for her. I went closer.
And she about to fall, that was when I took her in my arms.

"Leave me Aryan. Don't hold me. Let go of me.", she was protesting.
Her eyes were burning with that fluid that made her high. I had never seen anything this bad in my entire life.
A part of me broke forever, broke beyond limits, even the touch of her love would never be able to repair that broken part.

"Saanvi, relax. Come, sit here. Just calm down. I need to know what is up with you. This is not what you are, definately not the girl I know.", I tried to calm her down.

"I will do this. I like this. I'm no more answerable to you. You and me, we cannot ever be one. Let me live ny loge, my way. You enjoy. You and your money, Aryan. We are worlds apart.", she said.

"No Saanvi. Why all this? why can't we be one? We can be. You just, we just have to try. I love you. Seriously. Stop thinking all this. And what lead you to drink..look at your condition. This is not what you are. Who persuaded you to do all this?", I questioned.

"Some people who can keep thier promises and not people like you. You are so freaking rich. It won't even matter to you. You would get loads of those pretty rich girls and your parents would be happy to see you with them. And listen, you got no right over me. I have work to do in the morning. I have college to go to. I'm not stinking rich as you. We will talk about all this shit tomorrow, even though it's of no use. Move on with life Aryan.
Oh, I forgot, move on with money sweetheart."
And she went.

And her Words took away all the strength I had built up over all this time. She deprieved me of her again. She was destroying herself, unknowningly she was finishing me off.
Her words cut open my already injured soul. Life defeated me once again. Stuck there at the threshold of my life, I didn't know who was at fault, whom to curse, whom to ask forgiveness from. All I knew was, my happy life turned it's face towards me. The shadows of darkness quenched away the happiness out me. My happy memories of her, they all were fading away. Maybe this is what happens when you love someone more than your own self. Maybe the one you name your soul to, is meant to crush it, forever.
_____________________________________

They say right,
"Sometimes the person you can take a bullet for, is the one who is behind the trigger."

*Forever : Love Or Friendship* [Part-13]

~"Sometimes we accept the things just because the ones we love have accepted it and we are left alone with no option."~

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Why did she say that?
What happened to my girl all of a sudden? Her sentence she spoke that night rewinds every other hour in my head. I just couldn't let her go.
What might have made her say it? 
It had been a month I was back in Delhi but my heart was left there, broken, right at that terrace of my house when she said she isn't mine anymore.
Thinking about everything, I land myself up in tears. Even her thoughts were enough to break and crush my already broken heart.
Maybe, we weren't meant to be, but I was not ready to accept it.
I didn't want to give up.

My wind always wandered back to her thoughts. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything at all. Everything suddenly seemed to be unpleasant. I was hating everything around me.

College, work, roaming around, nothing seemed to distract me. Every other day I used to call her and send her long texts. And I was ignored. Every effort of mine went in vain. I was still not ready to accept it. But I just couldn't force her against her wish.
I used to wish for a single reply.
But no, nothing.

Soon after she changed her number and I was lost in the sea of disappointment. Thank God to Radhika Di, things were a bit stable by my side.

But still nothing was the same. I tried to be normal, but a broken heart full of memories cannot be mended so soon, and it sometimes can never be mended. The scars remain, no matter how much you try to heal it.

On second thoughts, I didn't want to go back home. But the semester was over, I was done with exams, thanks to Di's help I did good in them, otherwise mom and dad would have been worried. I tried my best not to show them my pain. I was giving my best excuses of not going back. But then Dadi, she wanted to have me around in my holidays. She was sick as well, I too wanted to be around her.

So finally I was going back home in my break. Going back to the place I grew up all my life and ironically the same place where I lost myself to life.
But I had to go.
There was no other option.
I was going to face something I'd been running from all this while.

And finally I was back home, nothing seemed to be like in it's place.
But I had to put up that smile on my fave to show how strong I could be.
And that day I was searching for answers, instead I got another mystery to solve.