Santa's List

"Son, you need to get ready now. We are having the Christmas Party at our place tonight. Guests would be coming in very soon." 

His father said this to him, while the little ten year old Aryan was reading one of his many story books.

He had some other plans. He frowned. He was supposed to visit the nearest Church along with some of his friends, the friends his parents didn't approve of. He belonged to a rich family while his friends where the children of servants who worked for his parents and lived at the back of his house. 

He knew what was going to happen. Like every year, his parents and their friends would end up drinking too much. Some of them might blabber out some secrets which weren't meant to be disclosed or the others might get into a fight. While the ones left would get amazing stories for the town to feed on for a month or so. He had always felt out of place at such gatherings and tried to avoid them as much as possible. 

He walked to his parent’s room. His mother was busy picking out her dress while his father was almost ready and giving orders to someone on the phone. 

"Here comes our baby", said his mom. 

He had mustered up a lot of courage and went to his mom.

He said, "Uh, umm, Mum, I was wondering if I could go to the church with my friends instead. I have no business in your party. Maybe I could skip it this time." 

He saw the way his parents expressions changed and he knew he was in trouble. His father was fuming with anger. He had told him a thousand times to stay away from those friends of his.

To control the situation, his mother said, "Listen love, it's Christmas today. Do you want that the Old Santa adds you in his Naughty List like the rest of those poor friends of yours? You're in the Nice List sweetie, do you want it to change? I and your father would never like to see you on the other side. You and those kids, aren't the same baby. See your clothes darling and look at theirs. If you stay with them all the time, how would the Old Santa make out who our Aryan is?" 

And that's how she said a no to him.

He walked out of their room, disappointed. His friends must be waiting for him. He promised them that he would come. He lived in a big mansion but he still felt suffocated.

And the party started. The same thing which happened every year was being repeated. Almost all of the guests were busy within themselves. Everyone was having glasses of wine in their hands, munching up the food, they were discussing each other, bitching about each other and laughing away to those stories. His parents were busy attending the guests. 

 And that was his perfect chance to escape. He filled a bag with some of the delicacies that were prepared for the guests and tiptoed to the servant’s quarters from the back door. 

He saw his friends and a smile lighted up his otherwise disappointed face. He gave them some food and little gifts he had got for them. Those little children hadn't been this happy since a long time.

"Merry Christmas friends." And he hugged them.

And then one of them said, "How come you're here Aryan? We thought you won't be coming today. We thought you would be inside since a party is going on." 

And the rest of them nodded in unison.

"Mom said that if I see you people, Santa would put me in his Naughty List. But I don't believe her. The people inside, drinking, bitching about each other, cursing each other should be the ones who should be in that list. All those people who think you and me shouldn't be together because we are not the same should be in that list. I wonder how we are different. We all are little kids celebrating Christmas here, aren't we? And even if Santa puts me in that list, I wouldn't mind at all. I get to celebrate this day with all of you. I get to make you all smile. I won't mind being in that list. But I don't think so he'd put me in that. We all are in his Nice List, I'm very sure. And I hope this year, Santa comes and tells this to my parents and makes them realise, I really wish. We're in his Nice List friends, I know." .

Little Aryan looked towards the sky and wished that Santa would listen to him. 

And the children enjoyed their Little Christmas Party and along with those little gifts, Aryan shared a lot more with them, his happiness. Unlike the one going on inside his house, this one was merrier, this one was the reason those little faces had a big smile on them. 

His Wait

The biting cold chilled his fingers and the cold spread painfully throughout his feet. It was as if he was walking the snow laden path barefoot. The cold wind was coming inside through that broken window pane he had thought of fixing last week. The barren trees outside stood mocking at him, just like all those cold winters. The winters went and came back, but that cold, numb sensation inside him just kept on growing. He tried to get up but it was as if his blood was frozen. He could barely move.

It had been a good number of years since she was gone. Eight years, four months and twenty one days, he had kept a count. Every passing day turned out to be a horrible reminder of her absence. Her voice still lingered and often danced around, in his head. The cottage he had been living in was meant to be a surprise for her birthday that year. How excited he was for that! But everything went in vain. Each part of him ached, the winter was making it worse. But he waited for it to end, to reach his solace. The only thing that gave him warmth were memories which later became the reason of his cold shivers. He used to spend hours looking at those old photographs from those occasions when people often wished him with long life and happiness. The former was what he wanted to get rid of and the latter hardly visited him.

He was now in the seventh decade of his life but in his mind he was still in the sixth, the time he still had her with him. The terrible ache of his degrading body parts gave him a weird pleasure, he wished for death every day since the ever increasing ache inside his heart was suffocating him.

When he closed his eyes, while the rest of memories were slowly fading, he could clearly recall the first time he was told about her. He was told that she was the girl he would be marrying. In those days, that’s how marriages were fixed. And a thought struck him when he first saw her, she was beautiful. With passing time, he used to think of new ways just to bring a smile on that face which was too shy to talk to him in the initial days. Over the years he became a big man with a sole reason, just to keep her happy and give her everything. Theirs was a relationship bonded over deep emotions. His ever increasing love, hers was silent yet so affectionate and tender. They gave the best to their kids and had no complaint from life and God. But there was something he wanted to do, something that was meant for her, something that would make her fall for him all over again. Over those years they shared an inseparable bond and now to mark it, he had planned something. He was building a cottage for her at the countryside. How she loved the nature and its bounties and the countryside had always been her favourite. It was meant to be a surprise for her 62^nd birthday.

But fate had something else in its bag for him. He clearly remembered the vows they took, “until death do we part”. It was a hollow lie. Death was just the physical separation he had to suffer while she had gone to another world, she just disappeared. With every passing day, the void inside him ached. Even the sun couldn’t warm him, all he needed was that face he saw every morning when he woke up. He cried, he smiled, not sure how to express himself, he clinged onto those moments they had spent over the years.

He had always heard that Time is a wonderful healer, it would heal all the pain. But the truth was just the opposite. Her scent vanished into the thin air after a while. Her memories were slowly getting erased from his mind. And that was what he feared the most. He didn't want the old age to take a toll on the only hope he had been living on, her memories. There were days when he used to laugh with a glass of wine in his hand, remembering how she used to say that she didn't want to live a single day without him. And her wish was fulfilled, she left him, not by choice though. And now he wished for his end every single day and wondered why God had been so partial towards her. What sins had he done to receive such a punishment!

 But today it had been a bit different. He tried to get up but it felt as if his legs weren't working anymore. With the support of the bed, he did. And he felt a deep pain in his chest and he couldn't breathe. In seconds, he collapsed and his body fell on the icy cold floor. And the last thing he knew was, he smiled in that pain because he was going away, going away from the world he didn't want to live in. He was going to the world where she existed, the world that existed on the other side. He got rid of the pain he had been living with all those years, the deadly pain of separation.